Vintage Tele pup (with full ashtray) in the bridge position, high-output single at the neck (I am not qualified to recommend anything), and a nice Gibson hummer (PAF?) in the middle for variety. And of course volume and tone controls for each pup, plus a blower switch to give you all 3 at once.
Then a crazy orange and green paint job all over the body.
Wait, is this guitar for me or you...? 😉