Decided not to vote (haven't played most of the guitars), but still willing to opine...
I'm gonna list each guitar and rate the cons as I see them from my standpoint...
Stratocaster: No real complaints. Too common for some, and hence "uncool".
Telecaster: Boring shape, not overly versatile.
Jazzmaster: Apparently prone to feedback. Not a fan of elaborate switching.
Jaguar: Way too much switching for a clown like me to deal with.
Mustang: No major gripes, except again, maybe the switching.
Jag-Stang: Ugly-looking. Other than that, I know nothing about them.
Cyclone: Never actually heard one, but I wonder how much they differ from the Jag-Stang...
Toronado: I know little about them...
Swinger: The fact they were made from spare parts is a bit off-putting...
Showmaster: I know nothing about them. But it sure doesn't LOOK like a Fender.
By the way, I love the Performer.
That's my post...